Surgery #1 in the books

A lot to catch up on since my last (and first) post.  I think I’ll start with our most recent highlight: hernia surgery and an overnight stay at the Children’s Hospital.

A few weeks ago, we went to Jackson’s pediatrician for his first set of shots.  We were expecting a pretty routine appointment, followed by 24-48 hours of endless crying and moaning (because that’s what we heard was coming).  Much to our chagrin, however, we got all that and more.

Apparently Jackson had two hernias develop from birth – both of which were side effects of his early arrival.  One was on his belly button, and the other, more serious hernia was inguinal, basically in his groin.  (SOMETHING I LEARNED: Inguinal hernias occur when the hole in the abdominal wall from which the balls descend doesn’t close as it should.  The intestine eventually loops out of that hole and brings with it the risk of “strangulation,” which apparently is bad for the bowels.)

When the doc told us surgery would be required, my first question was whether or not the procedure would require general anesthesia, a.k.a. night-night.  It turns out that it did, which was the shittiest part of the whole situation.  Hernia surgery is quite routine, but anesthesia introduces more risks, especially with infants.  I was naturally upset by the diagnosis, but there wasn’t much we could do.

The consult with Doctor Jen Bruny the next day put a lot of our worries to rest.  Not only because of the words she said, but because of our surroundings at the Children’s Hospital.  This is a special place, and I’ll tell you why.  My wife Hailey has been a nurse the Children’s Hospital since we were married (so roughly 2-4 years), and whenever her vocation comes up in conversation, she always hears the same thing: “that must be so hard.”  Well that’s accurate, but not in the way that the tone of the statement insinuates.  Hailey will be the first to admit that it’s hard to see a patient struggle, especially a child, but she would never work for another institution because of the resiliency of these children.  They don’t become depressed when faced with difficult medical news.  In fact, they’re often the rock for the family during hard situations.  And I don’t think it’s because they lack understanding, I just think kids have slicker backs and a better ability to see the bright-side of things.  All over the hospital there are kids with horrible diagnoses, but they’re still smiling.  This was eye-opening for two reasons: 1) I finally got to see in person what Hailey is always talking about when it comes to her patients, and 2) it put Jackson’s hernia in so much perspective, that I almost felt bad about bitching about it the day before.  Speaking of the hernia…

On the day of the surgery, we had to be back at Children’s by 6:30am, a time of day that was foreign to me just three months prior, but quite familiar these days.  The check-in process was pretty smooth, and they took Jackson back within about two hours.  30 mintues into the procedure, we received news that he was taking well to the anesthesia, and everything was going to plan.  An hour later, the surgery was complete, and five minutes after that he had a mouth full of titty.

So what started out as a crisis of a situation (surgery for our infant!) turned out to be pretty simple.  We stayed the night at the hospital for monitoring, but there was a “Hoarders” marathon on so it was basically an extended weekend.  I think the “SOMETHING I LEARNED” for this whole ordeal was to always keep things in perspective, and before you start bitching about how hard something is, realize that somewhere there’s a four-year-old kid who makes you look like a pussy.

Is this thing on?

Meet Jackson:

Jackson was suctioned into this world on November 26th(ish), 2011, tipping the scales at 5 pounds 2 ounces.  Now, you might be thinking, “Oh, that’s small!”  Well no shit – our son decided to grace us with his presence exactly one month early.  That decision made him a premature baby, and me a premature dad.

Here’s how it went down.

On Friday, November 25, I had just gotten home from work and was cooking sliders in my custom slider skillet when my wife, Hailey, called.  She had just finished a 12-hour shift at the hospital, and was experiencing some “symptoms of labor.”  (Note: I haven’t decided how graphic I want this to get, so I’m replacing “leaking” with “symptoms of labor” for now.)

A little background: Hailey is by no means a hypochondriac, but she doesn’t shy away from the doctor’s office either.  If something’s wrong, she gets it checked out.  So her request to go to the hospital for a quick checkup wasn’t overly alarming to me.  I assumed they would classify the symptoms as “normal” for an 8-monther (the doctor warned us of a “weeping vagina in the third trimester”), and we’d head home, eat sliders, and move ahead as scheduled with our turkey-fry the next day.

Jackson had other plans.  According to the nurse, Hailey’s water had broken at some point during the work day, and the baby was to be born within 24 hours (SOMETHING I LEARNED: Any birthing more than 24 hours after the water breaks increases the risk of infection for the mom and hellion).

We were freaked out.  Materials-wise, we were prepared.  Jackson’s crib was up, the room was painted, and the ski season was pretty much cancelled.  Mentally, however, it was a shit-show.  My first feeling was obviously fear for the baby and mom’s health (SOMETHING I LEARNED: Most human pregnancies are supposed to last 9 months).  The nurse ensured us, however, that a 36-week birth is pretty common (my favorite word that day), and that all should be good.

OK, so we’re still lined up for a healthy baby and can calm d…..aaaammit, we never discussed our birth plan.  Less than a week earlier, Hailey and I took our first birthing class, and one of our homework assignments was to develop our birth plan.  Pain soothing techniques, deciding whether to go through the process naturally vs. on drugs, etc.  My wife’s plan had similar questions to address.  We quickly came to the decision to use drugs if/when needed, and to let everything else take care of itself.

Next, we were admitted to our room, and the medical team started going through the motions.  Inserting IVs, charting, tabulating, groping, etc.  Since Hailey’s water had broken at least a few hours early, they started her on a drug called pitocin in hopes of speeding up her contractions (SOMETHING I LEARNED: Everything in the previous sentence).  Well, it worked.  Within an hour, she was off the charts in pain, and my half-assed massages weren’t doing the trick.  We ordered the next drug, an epidural, which basically numbed her from the waste down.  That helped, but it still didn’t relieve all the pain.

Left with no other options, Hailey just toughed it out until our doctor arrived, probably straight from a holiday party.  He immediately suited up, unfolded his tarp, popped the hood, and got to work.  There were a few scary moments when the boy was trying to make it through the birth canal.  The epidural was affecting his heart-rate, and he wasn’t in the most ideal position.  The room had a feeling of panic, but we still don’t know for sure how serious it ever got.  Nevertheless, four hours after we were admitted, and five hours after I was preparing sliders, our son was born.  Hearing his first cry felt pretty good (SOMETHING I LEARNED: Subsequent crying is not as enjoyable).

After everything settled down, we were able to spend some time alone before being moved to our “suite.”  Let it be noted that all this occurred during the peak of Tebowmania, a topic we’ll address more in a future post, so I naturally had to inspect the TV setup.  It wasn’t ideal, but there was a TV nonetheless, so I agreed to settle in.  After two (much needed) lazy days at the hospital, we were finally given the green light to head home, five pounds heavier, and about ten years older in terms of responsibility.

So that’s how I became a premature dad.  Now that you’re caught up on the “how,” I look forward to sharing more of what I’m seeing, learning, smelling, and messing up in future posts.  Stay tuned!